36.
(14) Once I was summoned to the judgment [seat] of God. I stood alone before the Lord.
Jesus appeared such as we know Him during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds
disappeared except for five, those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw
the complete condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is
displeasing to God. I did not know that even the smallest transgressions will have to be
accounted for. What a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before the Thrice-Holy
God! Jesus asked me, Who are you? I answered, “I am Your servant, Lord.” You are
guilty of one day of fire in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself immediately into the
flames of purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, Which do you prefer, suffer now
for one day in purgatory or for a short while on earth? I replied, “Jesus, I want to
suffer in purgatory, and I want to suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were
until the end of the world.” Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough; you will go back to
earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for long; you will accomplish My will
and My desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will help you to do this. Now, rest
your head on My bosom, on My heart, and draw from its strength and power for
these sufferings because you will find neither relief nor help nor comfort anywhere
else. Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but don‟t let this frighten you;
I am with you.
37.
Soon afterwards I became ill. Physical weakness was for me a school of patience.
Only Jesus knows how many efforts of will I had to make to fulfill my duty.
38.
In order to purify a soul, Jesus uses whatever instruments He likes. My soul underwent a
complete abandonment on the part of creatures; often my best intentions were
misinterpreted by the sisters,26 a type of suffering which is most painful; but God allows it,
and we must accept it because in this way we become more like Jesus. There was one
thing which I could not understand for a long time: Jesus ordered me to tell everything to
my Superiors, but my Superiors did not believe what I said and treated me with pity as
though I were being deluded or were imagining things.
Because of this, believing myself to be deluded, I resolved to avoid god interiorly for fear
of these illusions. (15) But the grace of God pursued me at every step, and god spoke to
me when I least expected it.
39.
+ One day Jesus told me that He would cause a chastisement to fall upon the most
beautiful city in our country [probably Warsaw]. This chastisement would be that with
which God had punished Sodom and Gomorrah . I saw the great wrath of God and a
shudder pierced my heart. I prayed in silence. After a moment, Jesus said to me, My
child, unite yourself closely to Me during the Sacrifice and offer My Blood and My
Wounds to My Father in expiation for the sins of that city. Repeat this without
interruption throughout the entire Holy Mass. Do this for seven days. On the
seventh day I saw Jesus in a bright cloud and began to beg Him to look upon the city and
upon our whole country. Jesus looked [down] graciously. When I saw the kindness of
Jesus, I began to beg His blessing. Immediately Jesus said, For your sake I bless the
entire country. And He made a big sign of the cross over our country. Seeing the
goodness of God, a great joy filled my soul.
40.
+The year 1929. Once during Holy Mass, I felt in a very special way the closeness of
God, although I tried to turn away and escape from Him. On several occasions I have run
away from God because I did not want to be a victim of the evil spirit; since others have
told me, more than once, that such is the case. And this incertitude lasted for quite some
time. During Holy Mass, before Communion, we had the renewal of vows. When we had
left our kneelers and had started to recite the formula for the vows, Jesus appeared
suddenly at my side clad in a white garment with a golden girdle around His waist, and He
said to me, I give you eternal love that your purity may be untarnished and as a sign
that you will never be subject to temptations against purity. Jesus took off His
golden cincture and tied it around my waist.
Since then I have never experienced any attacks against this virtue, either in my heart or
in my mind. I later understood that this was one of the greatest graces which the Most
Holy Virgin Mary had obtained for me, as for many years I had been asking this grace of
Her. Since that time I have experienced an increasing devotion to the Mother of God.
She has taught me how to love God interiorly and also how to carry out His holy will in all
things, O Mary, You are joy, because through You God descended to earth [and] into my
heart.
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