53.
I was very upset by this. I thought that I would get myself free from everything, and it turned out quite the opposite – an explicit command to follow the requests of Jesus. And now, still another torment, as I had no permanent confessor. Even if I went to the same confessor for a certain period of time, I could not open my soul to him in respect to these graces, and this caused me ineffable pain. So I asked Jesus to give these graces to someone else, because I did not know how to make use of them and was only wasting them. “Jesus, have mercy on me; do not entrust such great things to me, as You see that I am a bit of dust and completely inept.” 
But the goodness of Jesus is infinite; He had promised me visible help here on earth, and a little while later I received it (20) in Vilnius, in the person of Father Sopocko. I had already known him before coming to Vilnius, thanks to an interior vision. One day I saw him in our chapel between the altar and the confessional and suddenly heard a voice in my soul say, This is the visible help for you on earth. He will help you carry out My will on earth. 

54.
+One day, tired out with all these uncertainties, I asked Jesus, “Jesus, are You my God or some kind of phantom? Because my Superiors say that there are all sorts of illusions and phantoms. If You are my Lord, I beg You to bless me.” Then Jesus made a big sign of the cross over me and I, too, signed myself. When I asked pardon of Jesus for this question, He replied that I had in no way displeased Him by this question and that my confidence pleased Him very much.

Spiritual Counsel given Me by Father Andrasz, S.J.

55.
First: You must not turn away from these interior inspirations, but always tell everything to your confessor. If you recognize that these interior inspirations refer to your own self; that is to say, they are for the good of your soul or for the good of other souls, I urge you to follow them; and you must not neglect them, but always do so in consultation with your confessor.

Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.

Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them. But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace. You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word – accept all this with serenity. 

(21) Words of one of the confessors: “Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone. 

Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: “Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: “She spent her life doing good.‟ May God bring this about in you.”

Another time the confessor said to me, “Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before god than all the big offerings of others.”

On another occasion the instruction I received was this: “Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from god; give, the, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now.”

Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: “Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life.”

Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: “Sister, let simplicity and humility by the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life; as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow onto into humble souls.” 

55 O my God, I understand well that You demand this spiritual childhood32 of me, because You are constantly asking it of me through Your representatives. 

(22) At the beginning of my religious life, suffering and adversities frightened and disheartened me. So I prayed continuously, asking Jesus to strengthen me and to grant me the power of his Holy Spirit that I might carry out His holy will in all things, because from the beginning I have been aware of my weakness. I know very well what I am of myself, because for this purpose Jesus has opened the eyes of my soul; I am an abyss of misery, and hence I understand that whatever good there is in my soul consists solely of His holy grace. The knowledge of my own misery allows me, at the same time, to know the immensity of Your mercy. In my own interior life, I am looking with one eye at the abyss of my misery and baseness, and with the other, at the abyss of Your mercy, O God.