61.
O Jesus, I thank you for this great grace; namely, that You Yourself have deigned to
choose a confessor for me, and that You had made him known to me in a vision even
before I had met him {Father Sopocko]. When I went to confession to father Andrasz, I
thought that I would be released from following these interior inspirations. Father
replied that he could not dispense me from this, “but pray, Sister, that you be given a
spiritual director.
After a short but fervent prayer, I saw Father Sopocko for a second time, in our chapel,
between the confessional and the altar. I was in Cracow at that time. These two
visions bolstered up my spirit, all the more when I found him to be just as I had seen
him in the visions, once at Warsaw during my third probation, and a second time at
Cracow. O Jesus, I thank you for this great gift! And now when I hear people
sometimes say that they have no confessor; that is to say, a director, fear takes hold of
me, because I know very well how much harm I myself experienced when I did not have
this help. It is so easy to go astray when one has no guide!
62.
O life so dull and monotonous, how many treasures you contain! When I look at
everything with the eyes of faith, no two hours are alike, and the dullness and monotony
disappear. The grace which is given me in this hour will not be repeated in the next. It
may be given me again, but it will not be the same grace. Time goes on, never to return
again. Whatever is enclosed in it will never change; it seals with a seal for eternity.
63.
(25) + Father Sopocko must be well loved by God. I say this because I myself have
experienced how much God defends him at certain moments. When I see this, I rejoice
greatly that God has such chosen ones.
1929.The Trip to Calvary
64.
When I came to Vilnius for two months to replace a sister who had gone for her third
probation [Sister Peter, who worked in the kitchen], I stayed a little longer than two
months. One day, the Mother Superior [Irene34], wanting to give me a bit of pleasure,
gave me permission to go, together with another sister,
35 to Calvary to “walk the paths,”
as they say. I was delighted. Although it was not very far, it was Mother Superior's
wish that we should go by boat. That evening Jesus said to me, I want you to stay
home. I answered, “Jesus, everything is ready for us to leave tomorrow morning; what
am I to do now?” The Lord answered, This trip will be harmful to your soul. I replied
to Jesus, “You can find a way out. Arrange things in such a way that Your will may be
done.” At that moment the bell announced the time for sleep. I gave Jesus a parting
glance and went to my cell.
Next morning the weather was beautiful, and my companion was filled with joy at the
prospect of the great pleasure we would have in getting to see everything. But as for
me, I was sure we would not go, even though there were no obstacles for far.
We were to receive Holy Communion earlier and leave right after the thanksgiving. But
during the time of Communion, all of a sudden, the weather changed. Clouds covered
the sky, and the rain came down in torrents. Everyone was astounded at such a
sudden change in the weather.
(26) Mother Superior said to me, “I am so sorry you cannot go, Sisters!” I answered,
“Dear Mother, it doesn't really matter that we cannot go; it was God's will that we stay
home.” However, no one knew that it was Jesus‟ express desire that I stay home. I
spent the whole day in recollection and meditation, thanking the Lord for having kept me
home. That day, God granted me many heavenly consolations.
65.
One time during the novitiate, when Mother Directress sent me to work in the wards' kitchen, I was very upset because I could not manage the pots, which were very large.
The most difficult task for me was draining the potatoes, and sometimes, I spilt half of
them with the water. When I told this to Mother Directress, she said that with time I
would get used to it and gain the necessary skill. Yet the task was not getting any
easier, as I was growing weaker every day. So I would move away when it was time to
drain the potatoes. The sisters noticed that I avoided this task and were very much
surprised. They did not know that I could not help in spite of all my willingness to do this
and not spare myself. At noon, during the examination of conscience, I complained to
God about my weakness. Then I heard the following words in my soul. From today on
you will do this easily; I shall strengthen you.
That evening, when the time came to drain off the water from the potatoes, I hurried to
be the first to do it, trusting in the Lord's words. I took up the pot with ease and poured
off the water perfectly. But when I took off the cover to let the potatoes steam off, I saw
there in the pot, in the place of the potatoes, whole bunches of red roses, beautiful
beyond description. I had never seen such roses before. Greatly astonished and
unable to understand the meaning of this, I heard a voice within me saying, I change
such hard work of yours into bouquets of most beautiful flowers, and their
perfume rises up to My throne. From then on I have tried to drain the potatoes
myself, not only during my week when it was my turn to cook, (27) but also in
replacement of other sisters when it was their turn. And not only do I do this, but I try to
be the first to help in any other burdensome task, because I have experienced how
much this pleases God.
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